First a grammar tutorial, then a funny story.
Skip to the end story if you think you are a
Grammar Nazi.
Most new writers are memoirists. One of the main reason that
someone is compelled to sit down and bleed their memories on to a key board is
they feel they have a story that must be saved for prosperity. Memoirists
almost always write in first person, which seems easy to write, but it is
challenging to plot. If you are writing your story, from your point of view,
some of the essential back story and inciting incidences may be left out
because—you already know this information. Problem is that the audience does not;
even if that audience is family that you are leaving their story too. Every
action has a reaction and a start, middle and finish. So if you come in at the
end of the story- you are not telling the complete experience.
To avoid this (or even check to see if you are doing this) you
can change your story from first person to third person. In grammatical terms,
first person, second person, and third person refer to personal pronouns. Each
“person” has a different perspective, a “point of view,” and the three points
of view have singular and plural forms as well as three case forms.
The following Grammar brush up is for those who were stoned,
drunk or just bored in Mrs. Koch’s freshman English class and is brought to you
by a renowned English professor:
Second person (a difficult form to acquiesce) is the You, You’s,
Yours.
Third person is the most common point of view used in
fiction writing. These Authors use he,
she, or it when referring to a person, place, thing, or idea.
Academics and journalists usually avoid first person in
their writing because doing so is believed to make the writing sound more
objective. I tend to be a snot about first person narratives and want an EXCEEDINGLY
fleshed out character and plot if the author is going to write in that way.
In the first person, the mistake can be too many "I did
X" sentence configurations. It's easy to forget to include
description and emotion; easy to spend far too much time thinking, and not
enough time in the here-and-now of the story.
In contrast, in third person, the narrator is in the minds
of all characters. This allows the narrator to use a simple description
or hint of expression, or even a side scene to give the reader the information
that the main character can't know, but which the reader must know in order to
follow the storyline.
Third person is often perceived as harder by new writers,
since they now have to deal with all characters, not just the main character.
Is one better than the other? Before you start, ask yourself
the following:

•Do you want the single-eye view of the world? Do you
want the reader to wallow or be immersed in a single man's fallacies, triumphs,
and fears? Consider first person.
Here are my two Story Examples:
First Person:

“Well sometimes it gets hard and that means I have to go
pee, so I went into Dude’s bathroom and it just went all over the walls.”
I put the baby down, grabbed the Lysol and headed to clean
up the watery mess. He toddled behind me and the baby crawled to see what was
happening in the bathroom. While I cleaned, he said, “My penis was behaving
weird and is still all hard”. I laughed and told him that was normal and
sometimes things were hard and then they get normal.
I left to throw the sopping rags away, change his pants and
returned to see the baby playing in the toilet. As I cleaned mess number two, I
counted how much longer until my daughter picked them up.
Third Person:
As a grandma, she was liberal and lithe. The strictness with
which she raised her kids, with manners and behavior a priority was replaced
with a lightness of heart with the grandbabies. To her it was like a second
chance to give a child the gift of freedom of expression. She held on to every
cute phrase and emotion like a joy filled balloon. Bodily functions were
discussed at length. Pillows were thrown off couches and used as trampolines.
Stories were always told with dinner. In her relaxing of the rules and pure joy
at beholding them growing and learning, she watched the kids for 3 hours every
day.
Her grandson was potty training and it was a long and arduous
process. Many extra play clothes and discussions about “Man Hoses” were needed
to get through a day. It was frustrating because the boy possessed a fourth grade
level vocabulary, ninth grade level logic and a witty sense of humor. She had
taught him the art of “rephrasing” so as not break rules or get into trouble. Plus,
she was determined not to tell him he had or was an accident.

Writing Exercise:
Write a short story
(200-500 words) of something that happened to you yesterday in the first
person. Then go back and rewrite it in the third person.
Which do you like
better?
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