Wednesday, April 15, 2009

What to do with Junk Mail and Annoyance

I took the What kind of Wine are you? On FaceBook quiz and the result is Puligny Montrachet
stating: “You are the ultimate, sophisticated wine lover. You enjoy the elegance of what wine delivers and will pay money for the beautiful notes of a special glass of wine. Wine to you is an experience and not one to be taken lightly.”

How is this possible to sum up my wine personality in six questions? Why do they do this? Is it the ultimate marketing investigation? They have hundreds of quizzes and ask you to group your favorite movies, songs, TV shows, dogs, etc. I can't believe I fell for this insipid time waster.
These lists are then sold so we can be spam, junked mailed and faxed to death. Creative and vindictive girl that I am, I found a solution to these pesky paper problems.

Everyone knows about the famous Burning Man event. People go to the desert and experience elevated art, liberated love, and freedom. My friends that have gone worship it. They are sisters of Perpetual Self-Indulgence. My best friend has a business catering to the costumes and the accruements needed to survive in the painted-desert for 10 days it’s called Prism Magic. She sells petty coats, tie-die, costumes, solar ovens, survival kits, and an array of Modern Hippie Clothing. I will go to Burning Man someday, but husband hates crowds. I fear naked people.

Meanwhile we have a smaller version with a specific purpose we do in our Dunes every year. We call it Burning Mail. It amazes me how much printed material we have.
We make a huge pile of junk mail that we have all collected during the year (last years was over 20 feet tall and 6 feet wide) and we burn it. We drink wine, dance around the flames and watch two for one offers burn, burn, burn. We Run from the burning ash and go home after 11:00 with our hair smelling of campfire.

It feels good, even vindictive to the companies who consistently fill our mailboxes with junk we will never read or use. Now if we could just come up with the same cathartic answer to email spam. I would love to see “Want to show her your man stick, click her for Viagra” …….burn, burn, burn.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please comment if you find this inviiting your fingers to tap the keyboard (or screen if you are an IPhone homo like me).