Sunday, March 8, 2009

Period Post (not for the sqeemish).

The GIRL SCOUT COOKIES ARE HERE!
Little doe eyed wenches dressed in green standing out side the grocery store trying to ruin my life.
I caved in, bought three boxes and ate a whole box of Thin Mints in the car! Body prepare for a breakdown. I am going to be sick and it is the Girl Scouts fault.
Who taught these little tarts to solicit outside a store? Doesn’t this behavior lead to a life of prostitution, dancing on bars or drug sales? Pushing their wares on unsuspecting dieters and allergens, Little Bitches!!

Maybe it’s the period talking. After over 30 years of monthly bleeding, it still takes over my life. I’m bloated, grumpy, hungry, and bleeding. I have 15 kinds of pads and tampons in my cupboard, yet none of them does what the commercial promises. They do not make my life happier; they don’t keep my sheets clean at night or my underwear safe. AND THEY ARE NOT COMFORTABLE!!

I going back to the cookies, take a pain pill, drink a bottle of wine, soak in the tub, and then watch movies that make me cry.

3 comments:

  1. "I going back to the cookies, take a pain pill, drink a bottle of wine, soak in the tub, and then watch movies that make me cry. "

    Sounds like an almost perfect day!

    OB's even ? I swear by them. Plus I like having little tampon bullets in my purse. And I love when people ask to borrow a tampon and they go "SICK I HATE THOSE I CAN'T STICK MY FINGER BY MY VAGINA!!!"

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  2. It's the cookies that make grown men want their women to dress as Girl Scouts!! Hussies!!!

    My tampon days are long over.... Thank you, God!! But, I still gotta have my thin mints!

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