Remodeling TOOOOOO Long

So the water heater committed appliance suicide and then a week later, the heater did the same. Gary took his first shower down stairs in the NEW bathroom and the water leaked out of the shower so bad, it ruined the new floor and moulding. When we replaced the glass doors with a new novelty shower curtain they (College Nincompoop) neglected to tell us that splash guards are required. Husband is now obsessive compulsive about every change, color and the fact we are running out of money. He is a joy to be around.


You know you’ve been remodeling too long when:

• All my bookmarks are color swatches from endless trips to the paint store.


• Everyone at Home Depot knows me by name.


• I refuse a dinner invitation because all my shoes are in a garbage bag in the garage.


• I become used to locking the bedroom door before I leave every day so the workers won’t find the Bong or prescription drugs.


• I’ve grown fond of the brown paper covering the floor, and have come to accept it as my primary flooring.


• I’m accepted that are no cupboard doors, you can see all the food and I like that.


• The dog is excited for me to leave, because that means he has a crew of 5 men to beg from that will be here all day. He will be accidentally let out so he can roam the neighborhood getting in trash cans and eating cat shit at least twice.


• I welcome the sound of men in my house at 6:30 AM and like the smell of paint.

• I wish I was back living on the Sailboat.